8 Covert Ways to Improve Your Relationship
A relationship deserves the right kind of attention! It’s all in the language and not just about lacking the language of love… This is about the communicating of a message cause we all have times when what we say doesn’t register, look like it’s landed or feel like they are listening to you.
Take control in a way that could determine the response you want!
- Chatting and Communicating are very different! Energy and intention in your message change chat to communicating in stealth mode. So find ways to get your message understood in your relationship. Your mouths is moving, words tumble out of them but the response you isn’t the one you want. Do you have a target? Do you know what you want to say? 93% of communication is non verbal.
- Apparently 48% relationships break up by email. Think about the ripple effect and fall out of actions. As unemotional as sending an email can be, the abruptness can be experienced emotionally by the other person. Chances are, if you wouldn’t like it, they won’t either and such actions have a habit of finding it’s way back to you. People have feelings, being mindful of the fall out and every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Think before you act.
- Visual, Feely, Sound or digital? Clues!…Choose the words so you go from communication scatter gun and a direct missile. pay attention to the words your partner uses and mirror them back to them. If they have a favourite phrase, type of word like really visual, or really feeling, sound, quite digital etc. Notice what you notice, trust your instinct and play with it. You’ll soon be talking the language of love again.
- Body Language – be consistent with your message. Match your message with your energy body and intention, which will make it congruent. If what you are doing isn’t getting you the result you want then YOU change. Take control of your delivery of the message. Don’t blame the listener or receiver. It may be all in the delivery. Keep going and try new ways till you get the response you want.
- Set Boundaries and Play Fair. When yes means no and no. How are they supposed to know when you give mixed messages even if it’s in fear of saying no. If you mean yes say it and mean it and vice versa. Sat the boundary about what is ok with you and what isn’t. Help your partner out. If you aren’t happy say so, if you want something say so. At least that way you both know here you stand.
- Honesty Honestly. Be honest with each other in a caring way. The best relationships are a two way exchange. The ‘does my bum look big in this’ question. Be mindful of the answer! Ask them why they are asking the question and having a supportive compliment as back up can get you out of a sticky situation. There’s honestly and there’s hostility. If there are emotions gong on under that surface take time out to talk about it.
- Relationships that play together stay together. Find common ground, make time for each other, use the above communication tricks and be mindful to each other’s needs. Life coaching and relationship coaching can establish both needs that may be under the surface and counselling with the right coach can massively improve you chances.
- The best relationships work when both people take 100% responsibility. Think os the big trapeze artists, one of you catches the other and are both looking out for the other person and both take 100% responsibility for the outcome. Both keep your eyes on the movement of the relationship and you’ll improve all the time.